DANCING AT THE CROSSROADS

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                                                                           Chapter Five

                                                                            Scene One

 

Getting on with their lives became Michael and Jessie’s number one priority, though within that somewhat ambiguous phrase there was much room for interpretation.  Getting on with their lives allowed for some imaginary if not wishful thinking, and each had a different perspective of what it really meant. But they both agreed by some telepathic waves that seemed to join them, that it meant looking forward; not back, and they had in common the anticipation of a new child.

        "A son." Michael proclaimed with great certainty.

        "Hold on a moment." Jessie countered. "Now I'm no expert, but I guess it could just as easily be a girl."

        This was a regular discussion, but it never became an argument. Indeed it usually ended in laughter. On more than a few occasions when there good humour turned into something more romantic the result was quite predictable.

        "Hold on young fella." Michael had said  in various ways and at various times, "I'm coming in there to get a closer look at you."

        By way of mocking retribution Jessie presented Michael with a copy of  'Soliloquy' from Rogers and Hammerstein’s 'Carousel', a song that Michael took to his heart.

         "Nothing at all wrong with girls," he would tell his friends and colleagues. "The next one can be a girl, but not this one."

        Perhaps it was something to do with the male psyche, or the fact that he had 'lost' two sons, but in his mind It had to be a boy, and he had to build up his business to something that one day he would be proud to take over.

        Looking forward therefore became their new mantra and somewhat to their surprise it seemed to fit with most of their hopes and aspirations.

        The 'Yellow Roadster' had become established in the second hand car business. In the relative short time it had been in Michael's hands it had become at least the equal of some of the better car salerooms in the area north of Sydney. Moreover, not only was it catching up with the best, it had left the worst far behind. His reputation for giving a fair deal was spreading, and while that meant a smaller profit per sale, he was enjoying the sight of a steadily improving 'sales graph' in his office, nearly matched by his profitability graph.

        Another graph, placed anonymously on the same wall by one of his staff depicted a profile view of a pregnant lady, which mysteriously grew every month. He never attempted to find the culprit for it had been done tastefully and he knew it represented a sign of affection from his staff, which might otherwise have been difficult to express. Leaving the graph in place, and allowing many opportunities for modifications as required was his way of returning the compliment.

        "Come on lads." he would say to his staff in his jauntiest Irish manner when an extra inch or two had been added, "Extra mouths to feed."

        "Hold on boss," someone would say "you never said anything about twins."

        "Ah well, now there's a thing. Knowing what some of you get up to when your out of my sight, my lass's wont be the only tummy that's swelling, so an extra 'bob' or two will not be going amiss."

        Michael's gift of the gab had always stood him in good stead. In him it was a gift for he had the ability to find the right words in the right manner at the right time. His men respected him despite his relative young age, and the good feeling he emanated spread throughout the works. Indeed it was a good feeling that spread beyond the work force, for would be customers somehow noticed. They sensed the good atmosphere and felt comfortable. Many a 'looker' browsing the sales rooms would lingered a little longer, and those extra minutes were often instrumental in leading to a handshake.  

        Jessie of course had other things on her mind. She was now in her thirties; not too old by any means, but older than most first time mothers. As the weeks and months went by she became increasingly conscious of her condition. Not in a self conscious way for she was immensely proud, but she knew that there was a need for that little bit of extra care; to take things that little bit easier; and to allow herself that extra little bit of time.

          At six months Jessie gave up her job, so now everything depended on Michael. It was just the incentive, if one were needed, that he needed, and on the day that Jessie Witten went into the hospital Michael completed the first instalment of his debt to Tom Willson. Almost one year in business, and two months ahead of schedule. Also ahead of schedule, if only by a day or two, was the arrival of baby Witten.

        "What did I tell you?" Michael cooed.

        "Just a lucky guess." Jessie smiled.

        "No way! I knew from the start."

        "OK, OK, I give in."

        They had been down this road before, but now, for the first time there was no cause for argument. The proof was there for all to see; their first child was a boy.

        There were many parallels between Michael's life now and the one he had left behind in New York. Once more he was responsible for the successful operation of a motor business, and the welfare of all those who worked for him.

        Once more he had a new wife and a new son, though in this case the term 'wife' was an honorary one.

        And once more he had managed the transition from down and out to man about town, with flair and determination.

        There were however some differences, the most important one at this time was the marriage status. Michael and Jessie had never got round to marrying; they hadn't felt the need before and the arrival of a son had not changed that. Neither had there ever been any tensions about their names. Jessie had made it clear that she wished to remain Jessie Witten, a condition about which Michael was not completely happy, but one which he had come to accept as part of the 'price' of their  relationship. It had never been an major issue for them, and it had never changed the perception amongst their friends and business associates that they were as much man and wife as any other couple they knew.

        So it was with only slight misgivings that their baby was christened Daniel Witten.

 

Chapter Five

Scene Two

 

The months and then the years slid by and Michael's was surprised to realise that his life had taken on a 'normality' the like of which he had forgotten. Not since the days of his youth on the farm in Ballymay had he been able to say with some certainty what tomorrow had in store for him. There had been many twists and turns since those days and that kind of certainly had gone from his life.  But those turbulent times seemed to be behind him now and once more he had enjoyed a long period of happy domestic stability with Jessie and Danny. He also knew that there was no risk of of that stability being jeopardised by any further dalliances. In this respect Michael had truly learned his lesson.

          Almost unnoticed Danny was growing up. He had done well in the junior school and was now doing well in seniors. In fact he had done well at all levels of his education and looked like developing into a serious scholar. The only real cloud on their horizons had been their inability, despite valiant efforts, to provide their son with a sister or brother. This was a familiar path for Michael and he was determined not to make the same mistakes as he had done with Jean.

        Meanwhile their son was astounding them with his academic abilities. "Don't know where he gets it from." Michael said one day. "I don't think it's from me; are you sure I'm the father?"

        "Well I don't think it's from me either," Jessie had replied, "are you sure I'm the mother?"

        It was a joke tinged with a little sadness, that their talented son looked like being an only child.

        Medical examinations had failed to find a reason, much less a cure, but no matter how hard they tried conception did not occur. After a year or two Jessie's anxiousness started to ring alarm bells within Michael for he remembered only too well the danger of thoughts along those lines, and where they might lead.  Determined not to let it dominate their lives as had happened with Jean, he embarked on a plan to involve her as much as possible in the business, and to some extent contradictorally, to arrange as much free time as he could for them to explore the wonderful country that he now called home. He even encouraged her to become involved in local politics; a move he himself had made some years earlier. It all took time but gradually Jessie found herself in a more optimistic frame of mind, better able to to appreciate the good things in life; to set aside those things which were out of reach, and to be grateful for all the things that they had knew they should be grateful for.

          It was a selling job unlike any other and called for all Michael's Irish blarney, his natural flair for seeing and saying what was important, and what was not, gently guiding Jessie away from the precipice. It took time but it worked and gradually she came to see that if she were only to have one child, that was better that none

        Not least of the things to be grateful for was an established and successful business. Under Michael's stewardship the business had grown; a number of smaller competitors had been absorbed and relaunched as 'Yellow Roaster' establishments, and the brand was now a recognised name. Most recently one of Michael's main rivals, an outfit with seven showrooms had approached him asking for talks about a possible merger. The talks had revealed that the rivals were in some financial trouble and so the merger became a takeover. The 'Yellow Roadster' was now a serious presence in the motor business, not only in the area north of Sydney, but, following this latest deal, in the great city itself.

        And so too was its managing director, established now as a 'name' in the city..

        Occasionally some little incident or chance remark caused him to think of earlier times. These were the quiet times when Michael would 'mull over' his life;  where he had been, where he was going? He would think about those he had left behind who he might never see again. In particular he would think of the two ladies he had loved, and who had loved him in return, and of his children. Particularly his were of his children. How his heart grieved when he thought of them, and their mothers, for he knew that in quite different but crucial ways, he had let them both down.

        Despite his resolve to put these things behind him he was never quite able to do so. When he thought of Connie, pregnant with his child - despite Co'lin's claims, he thought of the way she had been abandoned, with no-one to care for her. Not even Co'lin who's life Michael had taken. How he had prayed that the image of his friend lying dead in the ditch would leave his mind, but he knew it never would. And what of the child? He - or she - would be grown up by now, possibly doing something important. Or had he been blessed with a bright child, staying on and going to university? Had Connie had to scrimp and save to bring the child up, decent and respectable.

        Had she ever forgiven him, he sometimes wondered? Knowing her like he did he thought that she probably had, though God knows he did not deserve it. And though he had learned to live with it, he knew that he would never ever forgive himself.

        And Jean! What of her, and what had happened to the love that they had shared? Perhaps fate had intervened unkindly, for until the death of their daughter theirs had been the kind of love which others envied. But the loss of their little girl had been a blow from which neither of them had recovered. It had cost them dear, more so for Michael for not only did he lose his baby daughter, he lost his wife and his growing son.

        Now he had another growing son and he was determined not to make the same mistake again; not to squander the opportunity he had been given; another chance to make amends. Michael was only too aware that most people did not get a second chance to put right their mistakes, and he was very conscious of his good fortune that somehow, miraculously, he had been given not only a second chance, but now a third.

        He knew that there would not be another.